Ain’t post-apocalyptic life just grand. Gambling away at New Vegas casinos, chugging irradiated beers, advocating for ghoul rights, scavenging for toasters… I’ve taken shady jobs, sure. Stole a thing or ten until I couldn’t fast travel. But baby, there’s no denying. I’ve crawled out to the fallout and rejoined society! So come down to my speakeasy and have a Dirty Wastelander. It’s on the house, if you let me rant for once…
Let me tell you, folks. Running a bar in the Commonwealth sure is a hassle. Tips only come as dented bottle caps, not nearly enough to pay off some wastelander to rid the restroom of mole-rats. Some patrons just won’t leave without a nightcap (like that guy!). And what’s this babble of bartender robots taking over? You know what? I’m off to mix cocktails in the wild.
A Dirty Wastelander can be crafted at any cooking station in Fallout 4. This consumable makes you stronger and charismatic, but… ah, who cares about the debuffs, right? The original recipe requires three simple (?) ingredients:
Whiskey. The label reads “Uisce Beatha (aka “water of life” in Gaelic) / Irish Whiskey / Triple Distilled / Since 1798″. Easy enough. I opted for a Jameson Stout Edition for its notes (and label design… guilty!).
Nuka-Cola. The corporate giant of the Commonwealth, Nuka-Cola Corporation has bottled many flavours across the Fallout series. This recipe calls for the original Nuka, reminiscent of Coca-Cola… But! The sugary flavours will overpower the drink, so go for craft or botanical colas instead (such as Fentiman’s).
Mutfruit. Turns out, it’s a mutated species of a sweet apple. Curie claims that “when grown in the wild, [mutfruit] is irradiated and develops natural toxins to ward off pests.“. So my goal was to mutate an apple into the purple blob of a Mutfruit. Poaching it in red wine did the trick! It also makes for a decent boozy dessert (add whipped cream). See the deets below.
Ready to get as wasted as a wastelander in a wasteland?
[Yes] [No] [Maybe] [YouHaveNoChoice]
Let’s begin by cultivating a Mutfruit for our cocktail:
- Peel and core a medium-sized apple. Slice it into 4-6 pieces.
- Heat up some red wine in a saucer over medium heat. Choose a fruity variety (e.g. Zinfandel) and pour enough to drown the apples.
- Add some of the spicy, the sour, the sweet! I chose a cinnamon stick, a vanilla bean, 1/4 of a fresh orange (sliced), and 30 ml Demerara sugar syrup. Feel free to get crafty with your Mutfruit.
- Add the apples and poach them for 20-25 minutes, stirring occasionally. Once the fruit is deep purple and soft, remove it from the saucer.
- Allow the Mutfruit to cool and absorb the nuclear particles.
60 ml (2 oz) Irish Whiskey
45 ml (1.5 oz) Botanical Cola
Garnish: Cocktail Cherry
- Pre-chill a cocktail glass in a cryo chamber. The freezer’s cool too.
- Muddle 1/2 of the poached Mutfruit in a Boston shaker, just enough to release the juices. Don’t turn it into mush!
- Add the whiskey and give it a quick stir.
- Add a few large chunks of ice, seal and shake until cold.
- Do a double strain to trap Mutfruit flesh, i.e.: pour through a Hawthorne strainer, through a fine mesh strainer, straight into the cocktail glass. Wiggle the shaker a bit if the pour stops. Just stay patient and keep an eye out for Deathclaws.
- Top the cocktail with ice-cold cola.
- Garnish with a Maraschino cherry or a slice of Mutfruit. Gotta figure out how to cultivate Nuka Cherries next…
- Now drink up! Another settlement needs your help.
Suggested Sipping Soundtrack:
Diamond City Radio, baby! Who doesn’t know all the lyrics yet?
Rockabilly’s also the perfect bop for a retrofuturistic universe. Besides, I bet the Tunnel Snakes gang were fond of it:
So, quest complete! I hope you’ve found this as entertaining and flavourful as the Fallout universe itself. Maybe it holds more boozy ideas..?
Discover the other game cocktails I’ve mixed! 😉
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